THE SUNGAZER

Going out of the home is a painful process every morning not for thyself but for my lovely home, I leave him for a whole day longing for me. Maybe I am just too hard on him, I don’t visit my own home so often, and maybe it’s not homely home now, maybe my loneliness has crept in and started rusting my place.

My work outside is pretty interesting, “Good morning” eveytime I stepped out Mrs. Olive is always ready to start my day with his melodious voice which is more of a song. She must be good-looking also, I assume. How can a person who has so heavenly voice be ugly? The person can’t be. But I have often heard some people talking about her burnt face. They must be blind to see her happy soul. She just makes my day cheerful, her greeting is enough to light up a spark in a dimming soul. But, I haven’t heard wishing anyone else in the streets. They must not be worthy of wishes, God has already made them worthy to look at things and people but they don’t have the ability to see which is rarer than a sapphire among people with eyes.

Walking forward and bumping over somebody is a usual thing but I am not the faulty one, I can’t look but they can. Although, I am the one who is to be burdened over their faulty vision.The girl I bumped upon almost pummelled my face with his slaps but she was too generous not to do so over my apologies, she just left me with some abuses. I know that girl, many things had gone in my ears about her. Many are after her, it just don’t even make sense to me. Sometimes, it feels bad for them.

There is an yin in every yang. This is my yin for I know people for their actions, their tone of voice not by their physical structure which is deceiving. God has blessed me with the gift of not getting deceived. But, it feels sometimes to know what beauty is seen as. One day, I will find it in myself maybe in someone else, but I will see it.

Coming back to my only companion at night is a bless but it has become a haunting experience now, he has a grudge with me for not been able to give him the proper time. It has been so silent that I can hear the walls calling me by my name. Screaming every time, I abandon him. He only has me after all others left. I understand that but he must understand that also. I will not be around always, he has to keep standing.

Going outside on a sunny day is a bless for me. It’s warm and I don’t have to worry about wetting my leg in a mudpool. People don’t rush onto me. I don’t feel itching in my eyes, they complain about not be able to look in the sky but its only one in the town able to look in the eyes of the sun, the only sungazer.

Everybody can look but not everyone can see.